Worth a thousand words...

I am not a big resolution person...the therapist in me is constantly analyzing my life so the thought of starting fresh with a new year doesn't do too much for me-I can't talk myself into that.  But a new year does provide a structured opportunity (and if you know me, you know I like structure...a lot) to do some reflection and analysis. In fact, I think some people in my life tend to get annoyed with how much reflection I do and for one time during the year, everyone else seems to be deep in it themselves so I lather in these thoughtful moments.

I've learned over the last year or so that the times I find myself bored or feeling unmovitated, my passionate energy is not being put to use or I am having a difficult time finding the energy.  Sometimes I wish I could sit around more and just relish in being and having "nothing to do" but the realist in me knows there is always plenty to do. So in the moments when I'm feeling bored, unworthy, or unmotivated, I go to my 'drugs' of choice.  My camera is my favorite drug. Not just because I can hide behind it, but because it captures the thoughts, moments, feelings, or experiences that are sometimes impossible to put into words.  I had a feeling that my trip to Haiti would be difficult to describe despite my best effort so I made my first big camera purchase and bought my Nikon D5000. I will apologize in advance that at times I might get annoying, taking pictures when you think we've had enough but once in while I hope to capture a moment that will be cherished longer than a memory could do justice.

Here are some of my favorite moments and photographs that tell the story better than I could, that remind me of the essence of that experience or the depth of the emotion that I felt...

My mother embracing my sister right after her daughter was born. There was something special exchanged between them that summarizes the love that only a mother can understand. It also captures the endless support that my mom has poured into her children...we will never be able to express in our language what she means to us.

My brother-in-law Jeffrey is staring at his wife and their new baby. I have always admired and respected Jeff for bringing my sister happiness but this moment captured a side of him that I hadn't seen...until then. He was special before Hadley came into the picture but she did something to him that has changed him in wonderful ways. The depth of his emotion expressed in this look makes me cherish him even more.

This is the unhappiest child I came across in Haiti.  I never saw him smile in my two weeks with him. He was the youngest of all the kids at the orphanage and the only one who cried when I smiled at him. When I look at him in this picture, I see the tragedy that struck Haiti. Throughout most of my time there, I rarely saw sadness anywhere...but he reminds me that although the human spirit is resilient, the reality of life can be harsh.

Wilson. I will never forget Wilson. His gorgeous smile continues to get me through difficult times in my life because I think of what he has been through and I am reminded that hope can overrule anything. He also reminds me to appreciate the little things. I gave him a yo-yo on one of the first days I arrived in Haiti and he never let it out of his sight. He is truly a gift from God.

The parallel universes in Haiti were difficult to comprehend. If you were able to look beyond the rubble and devastation, only miles away from the capital city of Port-au-Prince, you saw this. I spent a day at the beach just staring at this wondering how God could create such parallel universes. I still wonder...

This is one of my favorite pictures from our fall cabin trip with Clint. The boys went golfing one afternoon and rather than hanging out at the cabin, I decided to go with them to take pictures of the landscape that the golf course was carved around. It was one of the most peaceful afternoons I remember and this picture reminds me to calm down.

Our world is so much bigger than we are. I imagine myself looking out in all directions to see nothing but ocean...keeping the big picture in mind is the only way for me to stay grounded and to avoid letting myelf get overwhelmed by the little things.

I've heard a lot of people recently mention something about feeling zen or in their place of zen. I don't know what that means...but the closest thing I know to feeling zen is this. I am never at peace in the way I am when I am around the ocean.



The look before the kiss...one of my favorite moments. Our dear friends Colby & Shannon were married this summer and we were honored to be apart of it. There were a lot of beautiful pictures from their day - which isn't surprising because they are a beautiful couple - but this one reminds me of the excitment that love brings life.




I love this picture. It reminds me of how young we truly are...

 

A high school classmate of mine took some pictures of us this fall. This picture stirs emotion in me that I cannot put into words. I can't find a word that provides justice to the depth of care that I have for this man. He is truly my best friend...