DISCIPLINE IS FREEDOM

Mikey and I have a lot of great pillow-talk (PT).  It's one of my favorite times of the day - if not the favorite. We often come up with our greatest ideas and plans. And it is definitely the time for our heaviest philosophical debates and deepest conversations. Many of you have been dragged into our most popular debate - whether there are more stars in the sky or grains of sand on Earth. A debate that should no longer be a debate considering I am 100% right. But more often than we discuss stars or sand, we discuss the ah-ha moments we come across in the hours of our days we spend apart. And per Mike's suggestion, I thought it'd be fun to share one concept from PT each week. So, here's a little insight into what goes on during PT in the Wobby Wing of Ytterboe Hall. :)

free-dom, n. the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

A week ago, I would have described freedom as the absence of restriction - the power of self-determination. To do what we want, when we want to do it. But at Ash Wednesday mass this week, Father Marty implanted an idea about freedom that has turned my conceptualization of it upside down.

I don't often write about faith or religion because it's such a personal thing, but this idea has infiltrated far beyond my religious practices. He said that rather than believing freedom is the ability to do whatever we want, whenever we want it, we should challenge ourselves to accept and honor freedom as the discipline to choose the right thing, over and over again. The discipline to choose the right thing.  I think I could describe freedom using 100 words without ever using discipline. But as I've mentally wrestled with the idea that they do indeed belong together, I've come to understand exactly why discipline is freedom. When we are disciplined to choose the right thing, we are liberated from all that weighs us down. And when we are liberated from all the debris in our way, we are set free.

This is so hard to put into practice. I've been thoughtful about it all week and have realized that consistently finding my strength and discipline to choose to do the right thing takes more intentionality than I would have hoped.  It's not doing the right thing on a large scale that's most difficult, it's the little things throughout my day that challenge me. Choosing the right attitude and response when I bump into a person with whom I struggle to understand and agree, expressing unconditional positive regard when I'm lacking positivity, choosing faith over worry, and asking for truth even among fear and pain. It is these little things that begin to take up residence in my life when stacked together.  But my hope is that this time of Lent will allow me to gather the discipline to transform this season into habit. So that in all things, I find the discipline to do the right thing, over and over again, knowing that it will lead to a freedom I have yet to understand. That is what these 40 days are about - a journey toward the liberation from all that stands in our way from being the truth and light of Christ.

I know that some of the heaviest debris in my life is worry. I worry on a regular basis - where we are going to live a year from now, if I'm ever going to have a healthy baby, if Mike is going to get to and from work safely, when I will have to face the illness of a grandparent, parent or sibling. So, for this Lenten season, I have given up worrying. Every time I begin to have any thoughts of anxiety, anticipation or worry, I offer them to God. And although I am only six days in, I have already been introduced to a new freedom that I am excited to get to know better. Consider the debris that is standing in the way of your freedom and with discipline and patience, choose to remove it, one decision at a time. I pray that you will find a liberation that allows you, too, to live freely and with a peace you have yet to experience.