The Proescholdts

Meet the Proescholdts. They are one of the funniest and most fun families I've ever been around. Carlye (in the purple) is one of my dear friends and I've had the pleasure of getting to know her wonderful family over the last year and a half. They were so much fun to shoot. I think I was laughing more than they were and as you will see...that was tough! Congratulations to Kevin and Jean as they are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary this year. You have such a neat family. :)

the jungers and johnsons

Meet the Jungers - Ross, Anna, Linnea (4) and Jace (6 mo) & the Johnsons - Beau, Amber and Ryder (3) (Anna and Beau are siblings)

I was pleasantly reminded today how much energy you get when you put a 4-year-old and 3-year-old together. This clan was a ton of fun. I've known the Jungers for almost two years now but I really got to see a new side of them today. They are really great and it was a pleasure capturing their personality as a group.

embrace the awkward

I have had so many wonderful people message me in support of our grieving and as I've mentioned in previous entires, I have loved connecting with those people. Sometimes it's hard to explain - even to myself - how meaningful connections can be that are made via the internet. There are strangers that I've never met (and may never meet) whom have shared their story with me and continue to read my blog regularly. It's incredible, really. And most of the time, the messages I receive and the words of encouragement people share with me in person are helpful. But once in awhile, people say things that I just wish they didn't say...and I hope they never repeat, out loud. Or ever, really.

I know it is with the best intentions that people try to make my pain go away or to comfort me in a situation that is highly uncomfortable. And I know that dealing with loss, pain, and grief is hard for people. It is one of those awkward, uncomfortable topics that we don't ever learn to manage very efficiently or effectively. But what I've learned throughout all of this is that awkward is okay. Not knowing what to say or saying anything at all is sometimes best. There is no magic formula for grief. There is nothing anyone can say that can make it feel any better or hurry the happiness. It takes time. I have really good days and I have really tough days. But what I really want is to be understood and accepted on both the good days and the bad. The times that have been most difficult are those when I've been told how I should feel or what I should do. But to truly be understood and accepted would elicit no instruction from anyone. To be listened to, understood and accepted for whatever place I'm in is the best 'advice' I could ever receive.

This can be really hard for the 'fixers' of the world. You know who I'm talking about. Maybe you're one of them. They are great for coming up with solutions and making situations better. But grief is not a problem with a solution that can be brainstormed and implemented. Over the last six months - both strangers and people really close to me - have given me 'instructions' in order to fill the awkward silence that grief makes so stuffy. "Just relax." "Try not to focus on it as much." "Don't rush trying for another baby." "Maybe you shouldn't run so much." "You should move on because as soon as you do, it will all work out - that was the case for my friend who lost her baby." Those are REAL, exact instructions that people have shared with me. And it's all because they just didn't know what to say. But maybe we should give ourselves permission to say nothing in that moment. Silence is sometimes the most powerful support you can offer. The more you get to know it, the less awkward it can become.

So this is my sincere plea to all those trying to support someone - take a breath, embrace the awkward, seek to understand and find a way to accept both the good and the bad. I promise it is better than saying something you wish you hadn't.

I am so incredibly grateful for the support I've received and I pray that we continue to support one another in ways that allow us to face the challenges that meet us. So thank you. Genuinely.

Eat food. not too much. mostly vegetables.

Eat food.

Not too much.

Mostly vegetables. 

-Michael Pollan

(not my photo)

Okay, warning! I am about to completely geek out here. I have been learning so much about nutrition lately and it has been fascinating. I have to share some of it!

The "Eat food" saying has come up two years in a row at our professional development retreat day. Two different speakers, two completely different topics and the conversation always seems to wander into what we eat. And I am so thankful that I was forced to think about this because I've found a new perspective about food that I know I wouldn't otherwise have.  Research has proven that there is a direct link between mental (and other) health issues and the fuel we give our bodies.  Our sleep patterns, energy level, ability to focus, happiness, anxiety, agitation...it's all linked to the food we eat. 

Here are a few of my favorite things I've learned...

We were made to eat seasonally. Each season brings a new harvest and a new crop of food that contains different types of nutrients. Within a full year, we get the full amount of the nutrients we need if we eat based on the harvest. Eating seasonally also helps you avoid preservatives and other chemicals used to keep food fresh enough to be shipped around the world. We wouldn't typically be able to eat strawberries in the winter and while it's fantastic that we have the opportunity to do so, we might want to consider what preservatives we are consuming that allow the berries to reach us. The processing in food (including some fruits and vegetables) also strips many of the nutrients away. Eating seasonally allows us to get the variety of nutrients we need from our fruits and vegetables. 

When foods immediately turn into blood sugar (particularly those with high amounts of sugar or starch), the pancreas releases insulin, parks on the outside of every cell and allows the glucose to go into the cell. When there is too much blood sugar, causing excess insulin, issues arise because it has no cell to enter. The brain often becomes agitated and studies have shown this repeated agitation can lead to depression. The cells also become less and less responsive to the insulin in excess, which ultimately makes the brain starve for more, leading to that drained/fatigued/exhausted feeling. And what do we do when we feel tired - yeah, we crave sugar or something that will increase our energy, ultimately exasperating the cycle.  One idea to avoid that sluggish feeling is to build our diet around complex carbs to make sure we are getting a slow and steady dose of them to keep our blood sugar level stable. Apparently, more fiber will also lessen blood sugar spikes. My favorite form of fiber is flaxseed because it is so easy to put in smoothies or mix in oatmeal. I don't eat mustard, mayo, or butter, but you can mix it with that to spread it on sandwiches, too. People are so creative. :) 

Food intolerances are becoming a lot more common and they are figuring out why. Many studies show that food sensitivity and intolerance can be caused by the overconsumption of that product. For example, gluten intolerance has increased 50% since WWII. Back in the day, there used to be many different strands of wheat but today there is only one. Some suggest that our bodies are beginning to reject the protein in the wheat that we are over-consuming. Incredible. Another reason eating seasonally and being mindful of our wheat intake are important.

The 7 Factors of Resilience

Henry Emmons identifies seven roots of resilience that will help us fight illness - physical, psychological, and emotional illness. 

1. balancing brain chemistry (biochemical mind) - we can do this with our food although sometimes people with genetic predispositions need the help of medications 

2. managing energy (energy/body) - food and sleep

3. aligning with nature (rhythmic body) 

4. calming the mind (thinking mind) - relaxation and meditation exercises

5. skillfully facing emotions (emotional mind) - giving yourself consent to face each emotion

6. cultivating a good heart (heart capable of love) - acceptance/forgiveness/understanding

7. creating deep connections (soul capable of unity) - friendships/meaningful relationships/love

Probably my favorite thing from the entire day...the research that talked about how social connection/being around others was the factor that outweighed ALL other factors in the 5 things that have been proven to increase ongoing brain development and BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factors). 

1. modest exercise

2. enriched environment (learning new things)

3. diet (calorie restriction, omega-3 and phytonutrients intake)

4. serotonin balance

5. SOCIAL CONNECTIONS 

I am reminded by all of these things why I studied Psychology. It is such a well-rounded approach to looking at health and wellness and the things that get in our way of success.

...told you I was going to completely geek out. :)

taking the leap

My toes are tapping and my stomach is stirring. And what a good stir it is. I am so excited to be sitting at my computer writing this post. It has been a time of reflection as the ball dropped into another year. And as I drift away from a year that has taught me a lot about myself, I find that I am uncharacteristically content with all of it. And I'm hoping that the more I become content with it all, the more it will become engrained in me, making it a part of who I am and not just who I want to be.

I have found that when you learn things about yourself, you begin to see the twists, turns, and grooves of your fingerprint that you didn't appreciate before. You uncover another piece of who you are and it opens up or broadens potential you didn't even know existed. And when you do that and when you find you love what you are seeing, you start to appreciate things in ways you may not have known were possible.

I just celebrated ONE YEAR of my blog! It's amazing how quickly an entire year passed. I have been reminded that writing allows me to clarify grooves in my fingerprint that are usually murky and indistinct. It has given me a creative outlet where I have been able to passionately express the moments and inspirations that I witness and feel so deeply and in doing so, the twists and turns in my fingerprint that make me who I am, become so much more vivid. And throughout this ongoing journey of discovering who I am, who I want to be, and where I want to go, I have reached a crossroad and am peacefully content with my decision to take a leap and head in a different direction.

I cannot express enough why pictures are so important to me - they remind me of details that I would otherwise forget. They capture moments that I will never get back but that I can relive through looking at them. They retell my stories in ways words cannot. They defy time and overcome age. They capture the different twists, turns and grooves in the fingerprint that is your life. Ones that will live on even when you pass. And because those moments and legacies are so important to me, I have made the decision to explore photography on a professional basis. I want to capture those moments and memories for people so that they, too, can experience the joy I get from mine.

Some of my favorite stories from 2011 can be heard through the engagement pictures, senior portraits and special events I shot and I am hopeful that this year will be even more rewarding. I already have a couple family sessions on my calendar and I am so excited for all that lies ahead. I am putting some finishing touches on my new website and will be releasing it soon.

THANK YOU for those of you who have supported my blogging journey. I cannot express how much it has meant to me over the last year and I am so appreciative of the time you've taken to read my inspirations and sometimes disheveled thoughts. I have found the courage I needed to get through all that God presented us throughout the last year because of the people who have connected with me because of this silly blog. So, thank you.

Here's to a new and exciting adventure. I am so excited to take this leap.